LarryB

The euphoria of ED’s midsummer 1860 rendezvous lasted until September 1861, when Wadsworth let her know he planned to move to San Francisco. He gave her no reason and did not say goodbye when he sailed from New York Harbor on May 1, 1862. After hearing his plans, ED’s brain began bipolar cycles whose valleys bordered on suicide. As she told Higginson in her second letter to him (JL338, April 28, 1862):

“. . . . . I had a terror – since September – I could tell to none – and so I sing, as the Boy does by the Burying Ground, because I am afraid. . . . . .”

“Sing” she did. Over the next four years, 1862-1865, ED’s productivity was prodigious. She wrote 849 poems, which is about one poem every two days. During a single year, 1863, she wrote 295 poems, an average of one poem every 30 hours.

What malevolent muse sent ED inspirations at that mind-murdering rate for 365 straight days? What poet wouldn’t gladly die to receive inspirations at that rate?

To put ED’s experience during that 1860 “Midsummer’s” rendezvous into modern perspective, Baylor University research (Baylor 2026) shows that experienced ministers know well their sexual power over troubled female congregants and should, but frequently don’t, guard against getting too familiar with them during counseling sessions.

PS3. My candidates for Suicide Poems (and Franklin’s estimate of copy date) include:

1. Fr252, ‘I think just how my shape will rise –’, “about 1861”,
   
2. Fr279, ‘Of all the Souls that stand create –’, “about second half of 1861”,
3. Fr308, ‘A shady friend – for Torrid days –’, “about early 1862”.
4. Fr320, ‘There’s a certain slant of light’, “about early 1862″,
5. Fr340, ‘I felt a Funeral, in my Brain’, “about summer 1862”,
6. Fr386, ‘Taking up the fair Ideal’, “about autumn 1862”, and
7. Fr784, ‘I sometimes drop it, for a Quick –’, “about late 1863”
   .
   Other candidate Suicide Poems welcome. I will add them to this list.

………………………………………………………………………………………………
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The Reality of Pastoral Power

Misuse of Position: Sexual contact in ministry is recognized as an abuse of power, not an “affair,” because the power differential renders true, meaningful consent from a vulnerable congregant impossible.

High Risk and Frequency: Studies suggest that between 20% and 39% of surveyed clergy have admitted to sexual contact with parishioners.

Vulnerability Exploitation: Clergy abuse often targets people in crisis, such as those experiencing marital problems, grief, or trauma, as they are most in need of support.

Awareness vs. Action: While many ministers understand the theological prohibitions against adultery, they often fail to implement the practical, daily boundaries needed to prevent situations where sexual sin is easily initiated.

The “Black Pit” of Entitlement: Some ministers fall into the trap of using their role to gain sexual access, often by appearing as a “tired minister” needing care, or by grooming individuals through, for example, long-term, cross-gender counseling sessions.

Prevention Methods: Those who successfully guard against this abuse often use strategies like:

• Strict Counseling Boundaries: Avoiding long-term, private, one-on-one counseling with members of the opposite sex.
• Peer Accountability: Regular supervision and consultation with colleagues.
• Self-Awareness: Acknowledging personal needs and addressing them outside the congregation.
• Systemic Failure: When boundary violations occur, churches sometimes prioritize protecting their reputation over the safety of vulnerable members, allowing predators to continue their behavior.”

1. ED’s alternate words, Lines 4, 7, 17, 19, and 20, are in parentheses.
2. For clarity, in Line 4 my alternate word “your” [in brackets] would replace ED’s original word “the”.
3. In Line 11 of her manuscript, ED crossed out “ine” and wrote “y” in “Thine”.
4. In Lines 4, 7, 17, 19, I prefer ED’s original words.
5. In Line 20, I prefer ED’s alternate word, “is”:

Wert Thou but ill—that I might show thee
How long a Day I could endure
Though thine attention stop not on me
Nor the [your] least signal, Me (Mine) assure—

Wert Thou but Stranger in ungracious country—
And Mine—the Door
Thou paused at, for a passing (doubtful) bounty—
No More—

Accused—wert Thou—and Myself—Tribunal—
Convicted—Sentenced—Ermine—not to Me
Half the Condition (distinction), thy (made from “thine”) Reverse—to follow—
Just to partake [share]—the infamy—

The Tenant of the Narrow Cottage, wert Thou—
Permit to be
The Housewife in thy low attendance
Contenteth Me—

No Service hast Thou, I would not achieve (attempt ) it—
To die—or live—
The first—Sweet, proved I (That was), ere I saw thee—
For Life—be (is) Love—

My interpretation of “Wert Thou but ill” (Fr821):

1. If you, Reverend Wadsworth, were ill, I would show you how long a day I could endure caring for you, even though you paid no attention to me nor gave me the least signal to assure me that you cared.
2. If you were a stranger in an ungracious country and mine the only door you paused at for a passing meal, nothing more, I would feed you.
3. If you were accused and I were the judge, I would not convict or sentence you. If you were convicted by a judge, I would serve half your sentence if doing so would reduce your sentence by half, simply to share your infamy.
4. If you were the tenant of a tiny cottage and I were permitted to be your attentive housewife, I would be contented.
5. There is nothing you could ask of me that I would not give you, including my death or my life. I proved I would die for you, Sweet, in letters before we met. Life for me is Love of You.

PS1: ED Lexicon provides a standard definition of “Ermine”, which is worse than useless for readers of ‘Wert Thou but ill—that I might show thee’ (Fr821). Fortunately, Miller (2016) rescued us: “Because a judge’s robe was traditionally lined with ermine, the word ‘ermine’ was used frequently to mean ‘judge’.”(Footnote 332)

PS2. I think when ED composed this poem she was thinking about her “Master”, Reverend Charles Wadsworth, to whom she had written in “early 1861” (Franklin 1998):

· · · · · · · · ·
“Master — open your life wide, and take me in forever, I will never be tired — I will never be noisy when you want to be still. I will be [glad] [as the] your best little girl nobody else will see me —, but you — but that is enough — I shall not want any more — and all that Heaven only will disappoint me — will be because it’s not so dear” (draft letter MLJ3F2).
· · · · · · · · · ·

And, in “summer 1861” (ibid.), she had written:

· · · · · · · ·
“I am older – tonight, Master – but the love is the same – so are the moon and the crescent. If it had been God’s will that I might breathe where you breathed – and find the place – myself – at night — if I (can) never forget that I am not with you – and that sorrow and frost are nearer than I – if I wish with a might I cannot repress – that mine were the Queen’s place – the love of the Plantagenet is my only apology – To come nearer than presbyteries – and nearer than the new Coat – that the Tailor made – the prank of the Heart at play on: the Heart – in holy Holiday-is forbidden me –” (draft letter MLJ2F3)
· · · · · · · · ·

PS3: There are two disparate poem structures, the one above(↑), [1] Johnson (1955, J961), Franklin (1998, Fr821) and TPB’s (2025), and [2] Miller’s (2016, below↓):

“Wert Thou but ill – that I might show thee
How long a Day I could endure
Though thine attention stop not on me
Nor the least signal, Me assure –

Wert Thou but stranger in ungracious country –
And Mine – the Door
. . . . . . . . . . Thou paused at, for a passing bounty –
No More –

Accused – wert Thou – and Myself – Tribunal –
Convicted – sentenced – Ermine – not to Me
. . . . . . . . . . Half the Condition, thy Reverse – to follow –
Just to partake – the infamy –

The Tenant of the narrow Cottage, wert Thou
Permit to be
The Housewife in thy low attendance
Contenteth Me –

. . . . . . . . . . No Service hast Thou, I would not achieve it –
To die – or live –
. . . . . . . . . .The first – Sweet, proved I, ere I saw thee –
For Life – be Love –

I have no idea why Miller (2016) did this to ED’s poem. There is nothing in ED’s MS to warrant Miller’s mutilation. (LSB 2026-03-04).

Franklin, RW (ed.), 1986.The Master Letters of Emily Dickinson. Amherst College Press, 48 pp.

Franklin, RW (ed.), 1998, The Poems of Emily Dickinson, 3 vols. Harvard University Press, 1654 pp.

Johnson, T. H., (ed.), 1955, The Poems of Emily Dickinson, 3 vols., 1266 pp., Harvard Univ. Press

LSB 2026-03-04 [That’s me, Lawrence S. Barden, and today’s date]

Miller, Christine, 2016. Emily Dickinson’s Poems: As She Preserved Them . Harvard University Press. 864 pp., Kindle Edition.

820.1864.The Only News I know

The Only News I know
Is Bulletins all Day
From Immortality.

The Only Shows I see—
Tomorrow and Today—
Perchance Eternity—

The Only One I meet
Is God—The Only Street—
Existence—This traversed

If Other News there be—
Or Admirable Show—
I’ll tell it You—

My interpretation of F820, ‘The Only News I know’:

1. The only gossip I get is Inspirations all day from Heaven.
2. The only scenes I see, day after day, are Eternity.
3. The only one I meet is God, the only street I walk is Life — I’ve done those now.
4. If there is any other news or an admirable show, I’ll let you know.

Stanzas 1-2 each begin with understatement, but end with a Bang. Stanza 3 does a double Bang. Stanza 4 pretends that inspirations from Heaven, scenes of Eternity, meeting with God, and strolling through Existence are just ordinary events that happen every day. ED has “traversed” those now, but if anything worth mentioning happens in Amherst, “I’ll let you know”.

For me, ‘The Only News I know’ is a tongue-in-cheek, understated joke about Inspiration, Eternity, God, and Existence in a poet’s daily life.

819.1864.The Luxury to apprehend

The Luxury to apprehend
The Luxury ‘twould be
To look at Thee a single time
An Epicure of Me

In whatsoever Presence makes
Till for a further Food
I scarcely recollect to starve
So first am I supplied —

The Luxury to meditate
The Luxury it was
To banquet on thy Countenance
A Sumptuousness bestows

On plainer Days, whose Table far
As Certainty can see
Is laden with a single Crumb
The Consciousness of Thee.

My interpretation of ‘The Luxury to apprehend’:

1. The luxury to look at you again would make an epicure of me.
   .
2. In whatever presence you might appear, after looking at your face I would forget I’m starved for food and hardly remember I’m starving because my first look at your face during summer of 1860 has fed my soul so well.
   .
3. The luxury to remember, the luxury it was to feast upon your face that summer day, enriches my life.
   .
4. Now, on plainer days, as far as I can see with certainty, my table is laden with a single crumb, my memory of you.
   .
   .
   One payoff for ED’s poetic obscurity is that her poems are multipurpose, they seem to be written about whomever we want them to be. Because ED first shared this poem with Sue, we assume she was thinking of Sue when she wrote it, but that may be incorrect. I think ED had someone else in mind when she composed this poem. I also think Master Letter 3 reveals the identity of that someone:
   .
   “I want to see you more-Sir-than all I wish for in this World and the wish — altered a little — will be my only one — for the skies.“Could you come to New England — [this summer — could] would you come to Amherst — Would you like to come — Master? . . . .
   .
   “Would Daisy disappoint you — no — she would’nt — Sir — it were comfort forever-just to look in your face, while you looked in mine —  then I could play in the woods till Dark— till you take me where Sundown cannot find us.”
   .
   .
   Many eminent historians and biographers have concluded the identity of ED’s “Master” was Reverend Charles Wadsworth (Whicher 1939, Johnson 1955, Sewall 1974, Habegger 1998). I agree with those scholars. It’s an understatement to say, but ED got a lot of poetic mileage out of that one day in 1860 when Wadsworth came to visit her in Amherst.
   .

ED wrote seven poems that include the capitalized word “Master”. The fourth “Master” poem, Fr395, has the word “face” in its title: ‘The face I carry with me – last –‘. I think Fr395 identifies beyond reasonable doubt that “The face I carried with me — last —” belonged to Charles Wadsworth:

“The face I carry with me — last —
When I go out of Time —
To take my Rank — by— in the West—
That face — will just be thine —

I’ll hand it to the Angel —
That — Sir — was my Degree —
In Kingdoms — you have heard the Raised —
Refer to — possibly.

He’ll take it — scan it — step aside —
Return — with such a crown
As Gabriel — never capered at —
And beg me put it on —

And then — he’ll turn me round and round —
To an admiring sky —
As One that bore her Master’s name —
Sufficient Royalty!”

818.1864.Given in Marriage unto Thee

Franklin (1998) tells us, “Manuscripts, two (one in part), about 1864 and 1865. The first stanza was sent to Susan Dickinson about 1864, written in pencil, signed ‘Emily’.”

One alternate word, in Line 7. I prefer ED’s original “Ring”:

Given in Marriage unto Thee
Oh thou Celestial Host —
Bride of the Father and the Son
Bride of the Holy Ghost —

Other Betrothal shall dissolve —
Wedlock of Will, decay —
Only the Keeper of this Ring (Seal)
Conquer Mortality —

EDLex defines “Celestial” (Line 2) as “Godly”.

My interpretation of F818, ‘Given in Marriage unto Thee’:

1. Given in marriage to you, Charles Wadsworth, “Celestial Host”, I became “Bride of the Father and the Son, Bride of the Holy Ghost”.

2. Any “Other Betrothal shall dissolve”, any “Other Wedlock of Will, decay” and “Only the Keeper of this Ring” shall “Conquer Mortality”.

I think ED was the “Keeper of this Ring”. She believed her poems would “Conquer Mortality”, and she was right.

ED’s four most intense years of spiritual feelings for Charles Wadsworth were 1861-1864, during which time she composed 708 poems, an average of one poem every two days. During her other 33 years of writing poetry, 1850-1860 and 1865-1886, she wrote 1171 poems, an average of one poem every 35 days. Doing the math, ED’s rate of poem production during 1861-1863 was eighteen times faster than during her other years of writing poetry.

Any other poet would die for a muse like Wadsworth. ED has been there, done that, and moved on to her life’s pledged purpose: composing poetry just for the sake of poetry.

…………………………………………………………..

ED’s oeuvre was 1879 poems. Of these, two included the word “Marriage”, this poem, ‘Given in Marriage unto Thee’ and Fr325, ‘There came a Day—at Summer’s full’. Stanzas 6-7 of Fr325 describe an earthly lover, probably Reverend Charles Wadsworth. He was 16 years older than ED, happily married, and had two children, which is why ED had to wait until they both had died and could meet in Heaven:

“And so when all the time had failed—
Without external sound—
Each—bound the other’s Crucifix—
We gave no other Bond—

Sufficient troth—that we shall rise—
Deposed—at length—the Grave—
To that new Marriage—
Justified—through Calvaries of Love!”

ED used the word “Betrothal” or “Betrothed” in four poems, this one (F818) and three others:

1. Fr 194, ‘Title divine, is mine’, which is also a “Calvary” poem, ED’s codeword for Wadsworth. ED probably became “The Wife without the Sign” in 1860 when Wadsworth visited her at Homestead:“Title divine, is mine.
   The Wife without the Sign –
   Acute Degree conferred on me –
   Empress of Calvary –
   Royal, all but the Crown –
   Betrothed, without the Swoon
   God gives us Women”
2. Fr1412, ‘March is the Month of Expectation’, where “betrothal” concerns the month of March,
3. Fr1657, ‘Betrothed to Righteousness might be’, a delightful quatrain joking about “Righteousness”:“Betrothed to Righteousness might be
   An Ecstasy discreet
   But Nature relishes the Pinks
   Which she was taught to eat”

   ED used the word “Wedlock” in two poems, this one (F818) and Fr698, ‘I live with Him – I see His face’:

   “I live with Him — I see His face —
   I go no more away
   For Visitor — or Sundown —
   Death’s single privacy

   The Only One — forestalling Mine —
   And that — by Right that He
   Presents a Claim invisible —
   No wedlock — granted Me —

   I live with Him — I hear His Voice —
   I stand alive — Today —
   To witness to the Certainty
   Of Immortality —

   Taught Me — by Time — the lower Way —
   Conviction — Every day —
   That Life like This — is stopless —
   Be Judgment — what it may —”

   Line 1 of F698,  “I live with Him — I see His face “, echoes Master Letter 3’s focus on her Master’s face, and the capitalized “Him” of Line 9, I live with Him — I hear His Voice” could only refer to Wadsworth, not God, whom she certainly does not “live with”.

These shared words and their contexts are enough circumstantial evidence to compel me to conclude that F818 is about Charles Wadsworth, not Sue Dickinson.
………………………………………………………………………

In a happy way, Fr818 feels like an epitaph for ED’s four-year, spiritual love affair with Charles Wadsworth.

817.1864.This Consciousness that is aware

This Consciousness that is aware
Of Neighbors and the Sun
Will be the one aware of Death
And that itself alone

Is traversing the interval
Experience between
And most profound experiment
Appointed unto Men —

How adequate unto itself
Its properties shall be
Itself unto itself and none
Shall make discovery —

Adventure most unto itself
The Soul condemned to be —
Attended by a single Hound
Its own identity.

……………………………………………………

My interpretation of Fr817, ‘This Consciousness that is aware’:

1. This consciousness that is aware of neighbors and Sun will be the one aware of death, and that itself alone
2. is traversing the interval between the two, and that is the most profound experiment assigned to man.
3. How adequate unto consciousness its properties shall be, itself unto itself, and no one else shall make that discovery for it.
4. Adventure, most unto itself, the soul is condemned to be, attended by a single hound, its own identity.

And that, dear readers, is one profound bow to existentialist existence. Makes me wonder if she had been reading Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855):

“Existentialism is a 20th-century philosophical movement emphasizing individual freedom, responsibility, and subjectivity”. It posits that individuals are not born with a predetermined purpose but must construct their own meaning and values in an otherwise absurd, meaningless world. Key thinkers include Søren Kierkegaard, Jean-Paul Sartre, and Albert Camus, focusing on themes like authenticity, angst, and the burden of choice”. (Google AI)

In 1914, Martha Dickinson Bianci, Sue’s daughter and ED’s niece published ‘A Single Hound, Poems of a Lifetime’, a collection of 142 unpublished poems. Here’s the last paragraph of her introduction:

“One may ask of the Sphinx [ED], if life would not have been dearer to her, lived as other women lived it? To have been, in essence, more as other women were? Or if, in so doing and so being, she would have missed that inordinate compulsion, that inquisitive comprehension that made her Emily Dickinson? It is to ask again the old riddle of genius against everyday happiness. Had life or love been able to dissuade her from that “eternal preoccupation with death” which thralled her–if she could have chosen–you urge, still unconvinced? But I feel that she could and did, and that nothing could have compensated her for the forfeit of that “single hound,” her “own Identity.”

ED lost schoolgirl friends to tuberculosis and typhus. In April 1844, when she was just thirteen, Emily’s second cousin and close friend, Sophia Holland, died of typhus. ED had been visiting Sophia daily and was in an adjoining room when Sophia died. ED insisted on saying goodbye to the corpse and Sophia’s mother unwisely said yes. The experience devastated ED, who went into deep depression for three months, only relieved by her parents sending her to Boston where her aunt took her sight-seeing to get her mind off her friend’s death.

Afterward, ED was fascinated by the moment of death, asking friends who were present at deathbeds whether they saw any evidence of a soul leaving as the person died. In the absence of evidence, she became skeptical of the “afterlife”. This poem, Fr 817, seems to posit a transition from life (“Neighbors”) to afterlife (“Sun”) via death (“traversing the interval”).

However, I suspect in the back of her mind ED halfway believed the transition was not from somewhere to somewhere, but rather from somewhere to nowhere. Why else would “The Soul condemned to be / Attended by . . . / Its own identity”?  Why did ED choose the verb “condemned” for a journey to Heaven?

“Adventure most unto itself
The Soul condemned to be —
Attended by a single Hound
Its own identity.”

Or did she expect life after death would be boring, which she stated as a fact in F710, ‘Doom is the House without the Door’? My guess is that ED used the verb “condemned” in ‘The Consciousness that is aware’ because she believed

“Doom is the House without the Door—
‘Tis entered from the Sun—
And then the Ladder’s thrown away,
Because Escape—is done—

‘Tis varied by the Dream
Of what they do outside—
Where Squirrels play—and Berries dye—
And Hemlocks—bow—to God—”

We know from the previous 816 poems that ED’s opinion of “God” varied widely from time to time.

816.1864.I could not drink it, Sweet

Two variants. I prefer Variant B with “Sweet” replaced by “Sue” and signed “Emily”.

I could not drink it, Sweet,
Till You had tasted first,
Though cooler than the Water was
The Thoughtfulness of Thirst.

My interpretation of ‘I could not drink it, Sweet’: (Fr816):

“I could not accept Christ, Sue, till you had done it first, though sweeter than Christ was your concern for my salvation.”

The coincidence of four words, “tasted” / “water” / “cooler” / “thirst”, in this 21-word quatrain and in one sentence of a letter ED wrote to her friend Abiah Root on March 28, 1846 (JL11) makes me wonder whether Fr816 is about ED’s spiritual salvation versus ED’s rejection of Christ as her soul’s savior, at least to Sue’s way of thinking.:

“Dearest Abiah,
· · · · ·
“I determined to devote my whole life to his service & desired that all might taste of the stream of living water from which I cooled my thirst.”
· · · · ·
Yours. Emily E. Dickinson –

Sue was a devout Christian and, during the 1880s, turned increasingly to the rituals of High Church (Anglo-Catholicism). She even considered becoming a Roman Catholic (Armand 1985).

During the 1880s, Sue spent almost every Sabbath for six years establishing a Sunday school in Logtown, a poor village in present-day Belchertown, not far from Amherst (Dorey 1960). Perhaps Sue was concerned about ED’s refusal to accept Christ as her savior and had offered to accompany ED to church.

This poem may be ED’s polite but firm RSVP.

Barton Levi St. Armand, 1985, Emily Dickinson and her Culture: the Soul’s Society, Cambridge Univ. Press, 368 pp.

Kenney A. Dorey, 1960, , Belchertown Town History, Dan Fitzpatrick (ed), 2005. 9 pp.

Cristanne Miller and Domhnall Mitchell, 2024, The Letters of Emily Dickinson, Harvard University Press. Kindle Edition.