ED-LarryB

I meant to have but modest needs —
Such as Content — and Heaven —
Within my income — these could lie
And Life and I — keep even —

 

But since the last — included both —
It would suffice my Prayer
But just for One — to stipulate —
And Grace would grant the Pair —

 

And so — upon this wise — I prayed —
Great Spirit — Give to me
A Heaven not so large as Yours,
But large enough — for me —

 

A Smile suffused Jehovah’s face —
The Cherubim — withdrew —
Grave Saints stole out to look at me —
And showed their dimples — too —

 

I left the Place, with all my might —
I threw my Prayer away —
The Quiet Ages picked it up —
And Judgment — twinkled — too —
That one so honest — be extant —
It take the Tale for true —
That “Whatsoever Ye shall ask —
Itself be given You” —

 

But I, grown shrewder — scan the Skies
With a suspicious Air —
As Children — swindled for the first
All Swindlers — be — infer —

 

An interpretation

Stanza 1

The poet imagines a perfect plan for the remainder of her life: contentment “within her income” and “Heaven”, which for her would be continued correspondence with Charles Wadsworth living in Philadelphia, close enough for him to occasionally visit, as he did in 1860 and possibly 1861.

Stanza 2

On second thought, she deletes “Content” from her “Prayer”, because if she had “Heaven” as described, she would be content. And she could have that Heaven if just one person, Wadsworth, would so “stipulate”, “And Grace would grant the Pair –”, both contentment and Heaven.

Stanza 3

She asks little in her “Prayer”, and she asks in an endearing way:

“Great Spirit -Give to me
A Heaven not so large as Yours,
But large enough -for me –”

Stanza 4 [brackets mine]

“A [paternalistic] Smile suffused Jehovah’s face –
The Cherubim [young angels attending God]-withdrew –
Grave Saints [Severe old men] stole out to look at me –
And showed their dimples – too –” [also smiled in amusement]

Stanza 5 [brackets mine]

Disgusted by Heaven’s pseudo-smile paternalism, ED stormed out of “the Place – with all my might –” and “threw my Prayer away -”. For ages Christian readers “picked it up” and read her prayer approvingly. Even St Peter at the pearly gates “twinkled” with approval because there had been one living person so honest [gullible] that she took “the Tale for true -”

Stanza 6

“The Tale”, told twice, in Matthew 21: 21-22 & John 14: 12-14, was:

“Whatsoever Ye shall ask –
Itself be given You” –

As a child ED believed that promise lock, stock, and barrel, but when her prayers went unanswered, she grew skeptical of Resurrection, Heaven, and the Judeo-Christian God, and, like a swindled child, now infers all such promisers are swindlers, including God and Wadsworth.

Matthew 21:21-22:

21: Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done.
22: And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

John 14: 12-14:

12. Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.
13. And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

Biographic History of Emily Dickinson and Reverend Charles Wadsworth

While visiting a friend in Philadelphia in March1855, ED, age 24, heard Rev. Wadsworth deliver a sermon at his church, Arch Street Presbyterian. Apparently, Wadsworth’s sermon, and his deep voice, lit an emotional and intellectual fire in ED that resulted in a two-way correspondence and an 1860 visit by Wadsworth to her home in Amherst. That sermon, their correspondence, and his visit may help explain ED’s manic burst of productivity during the next five years, 1861-1865: a total of 937 poems, more than half her oeuvre of 1789 poems in 37 years of composition, 1850-1886.

Before ED’s death in 1886, she asked her sister, Vinnie, to burn all her correspondence. Vinnie complied except for one undated letter from Wadsworth to ED and three drafts of letters from ED to “Master”. His letter to her probably predates his first visit to Amherst because he misspells her name in its salutation and his stationary bears a monogram he stopped using in 1862:

“My Dear Miss Dickenson [sic] —

I am distressed beyond measure at your note, received this moment, — I can only imagine the affliction which has befallen, or is now befalling you.

Believe me, be what it may, you have all my sympathy, and my constant, earnest prayers.

I am very, very anxious to learn more definitely of your trial — and though I have no right to intrude upon your sorrow yet I beg you to write me, though it be but a word.

In great haste
Sincerely and most
Affectionately Yours —”

Wadsworth underlined the word, “Yours”, but did not sign the letter.

The tone of his letter is sincere ministerial concern for her, but given ED ‘s attraction to him, how did she interpret that underlined “Yours”? Why Wadsworth suddenly resigned his Philadelphia position in early 1862 and moved to San Francisco and how that personally affected ED’s life begs explanation.

Wadsworth’s charismatic sermons had filled Arch Street Presbyterian pews since his arrival in 1850, but his belief that the Bible condoned slavery did not sit well with his mostly anti-slavery congregation. When the Civil War began in April 1861, Wadsworth stood firmly for preserving the United States as one nation and thus sided with the Union in his sermons, but that didn’t satisfy his anti-slavery congregation. Friction followed, and he resigned his position at Arch Street Presbyterian in early 1862.

Simultaneously, in San Francisco, the struggling congregation of the 10-year-old Calvary Presbyterian Church grew increasingly dissatisfied with their Reverend William Scott, who supported both slavery and secession of slave states in his sermons. Threats followed. Scott resigned in July 1871 and sailed to Birmingham, England where he pastored John Street Presbyterian Church for two years.

Scott had known Wadsworth in seminary, and “After resigning in July 1861, Scott may have asked his friend to consider a call from Calvary Church as his successor; their friendship probably contributed to Wadsworth’s being chosen to replace Scott at a meeting of the congregation on 9 December 1861.” (Lease 1990). Wadsworth accepted, resigned from Arch Street Presbyterian, and moved to San Francisco in May 1862.

Apparently, in September 1861 ED learned of Wadsworth’s impending decision to move and felt terror of abandonment, which may explain her cryptic comment to Higginson in a letter dated April 28, 1862: “I had a terror – since September – I could tell to none – and so I sing, as the Boy does by the Burying Ground, because I am afraid”. At that time, ED apparently knew nothing about the real reason why Wadsworth decided to leave the east coast. (Johnson letter J-L261, Miller and Mitchell letter M&M-L338)

In her last “Calvary” poem (F1485, 1879), ED affirmed her enduring concern and now platonic love for Wadsworth in a quatrain, ‘Spurn the temerity’:

Spurn the temerity –
Rashness of Calvary –
Gay were Gethsemane
Knew we of thee –

ED Lexicon defines “Gethsemane” metaphorically as “Scene of agony; circumstance of unimaginable pain; situation of extreme anguish”, which pretty well describes ED’s mental state during 1861-1863 and perhaps longer.

If “Calvary” codes for Wadsworth and “Gethsemane” for ED, F1479 translates line by line:

“Ignore my brash boldness,
My rashness when you accepted pastorship of Calvary Presbyterian in San Francisco.
I would be gay now
If I knew how you are doing.”

It would not surprise me if she mailed this poem, F1485, to Wadsworth in 1879, though we have no hard evidence that happened. At any rate, the next year, during summer 1880, he showed up unannounced at her front door.

Wadsworth died two years later, on April 1, 1882. In August 1882 ED wrote his best friend, James Clark, asking for memories of him (L994). By pure chance, ED’s father had introduced her to James in 1859. He and his brother, Charles, lived during summers at the Clark family home in Northampton, MA, 12 miles southwest of Amherst.

Her letter speaks for itself:

“August 1882

Dear friend,

Please excuse the trespass of gratitude. My Sister [Vinnie] thinks you will accept a few words in recognition of your great kindness.

In a [sic] intimacy of many years with the beloved Clergyman, I have never before spoken with one who knew him, and his Life was so shy and his tastes so unknown, that grief for him seems almost unshared.

He was my Shepherd from “Little Girl”hood and I cannot conjecture a world without him, so noble was he always – so fathomless – so gentle. [Actually, ED was 24 when she attended his sermon, March 1855]

I saw him two years since [summer 1880] for the last time, though how unsuspected!

He rang one summer evening to my glad surprise – “Why did you not tell me you were coming, so I could have it to hope for,” I said – “Because I did not know it myself. I stepped from my Pulpit to the Train,” was his quiet reply. . . . . . He [had] spoken on a previous visit [1860] of calling upon you [James Clark], or perhaps remaining a brief time at your Home in Northampton. . . . . . . .

E Dickinson.”

James Clark died in 1883. Two years later in mid-April 1886, four weeks before her own death, ED wrote Clark’s brother, Charles, describing Wadsworth’s 1880 visit with her in Amherst (Johnson letter L1040, Miller and Mitchell letter, L1298):

“Thank you [for a previous letter], Dear friend, I am better. The velocity of the ill, however, is like that of the snail. . . . . .

I could hardly have thought it possible that the scholarly Stranger [James Clark] to whom my Father introduced me [in 1859] could have mentioned my Friend [Charles Wadsworth] . . . . .

With the exception of my Sister [Vinnie] who never saw Mr Wadsworth, your Name alone [now] remains.

Going Home” [dying], was he not an Aborigine of the sky? The last time he came in Life [summer 1880], I was with my Lilies and Heliotropes, said my sister to me, “[T]he Gentleman with the deep voice wants to see you, Emily,” hearing him ask of the servant. “Where did you come from,” I said, for he spoke like an Apparition.

“I stepped from my Pulpit to the Train” was [his] simple reply, and when I asked “how long,” “Twenty Years” [1860-1880] said he with inscrutable roguery – but [his] loved Voice has ceased, and to someone who [heard] him “Going Home,” it was sweet to speak. . . . . . Excuse me for the [my] Voice, this moment immortal. . . . .”

E Dickinson.”

1. Johnson, T.H. 1958. The Letters of Emily Dickinson
2. Lease, Benjamin, 1990, Emily Dickinson’s Readings of Men and Books
3. Miller, Cristanne Miller and Domhnall Mitchell, 2024, The Letters of Emily Dickinson

 

During her lifetime ED composed 12 “Calvary” poems:

“Calvary” Poems

Year      Fr#         “Calvary” lines
1861     194        Empress of Calvary
1862     283        The Palm -without the Calvary –
1862     325        Justified-through Calvaries of Love-
1862     347        The Queen of Calvary-
1862     398        Key of Calvary-
1862     431        In Calvary-
1863     550        In passing Calvary-
1863     652        But Calvary
1863     670        One Calvary-exhibited to Stranger
1863     686        For passing Calvary-
1863     749        Cashmere-or Calvary-the same
1879    1485       Rashness of Calvary-

Summary of Calvary poem occurrences:

Years               Time (yrs)      Poems        F#s
1850-1860             11               0              F1-F193
1861-1863              3              11             F194-F7491
1864-1978            15               0              F750-F1485
1879                        1               1              F779
1880-1886              7               0              F1486-F1789

836.1864.Color — Caste — Denomination —

Color — Caste — Denomination —
These — are Time’s Affair —
Death’s diviner Classifying
Does not know they are —

As in sleep — All Hue forgotten —
Tenets — put behind —
Death’s large—Democratic fingers
Rub away the Brand —

If Circassian — He is careless —
If He put away
Chrysalis of Blonde—or Umber —
Equal Butterfly —

They emerge from His Obscuring —
What Death — knows so well —
Our minuter intuitions —
Deem unplausible —

 

My interpretation of each stanza, ED speaking:

1. Color — Caste — Denomination —
   These — are Time’s Affair —
   Death’s diviner Classifying
   Does not know they are —

I believe a person’s skin color, social class, and religion don’t matter. They are determined by one’s parents and ancestors. After we die, death will decide our fate, and death doesn’t see these distinctions.

2. As in sleep — All Hue forgotten —
   Tenets — put behind —
   Death’s large—Democratic fingers
   Rub away the Brand —

I also believe that democratic death doesn’t care about skin color, social class, and religion. It erases these superficial distinctions.

3. If Circassian — He is careless —
   If He put away
   Chrysalis of Blonde—or Umber —
   Equal Butterfly — (enjambed with next line.

I believe death deals the same with butterflies, Death doesn’t care if they’re white or blond or dark brown. They emerge from their chrysalises as equals in death’s eyes.

4. They emerge from His Obscuring —
   What Death — knows so well —
   Our minuter intuitions —
   Deem unplausible —
   
   Our minute human classifications emerge from death’s denial as unplausible, a fact death knows so well.

 

836.1864.Color — Caste — Denomination —

Color — Caste — Denomination —
These — are Time’s Affair —
Death’s diviner Classifying
Does not know they are —

As in sleep — All Hue forgotten —
Tenets — put behind —
Death’s large—Democratic fingers
Rub away the Brand —
.
If Circassian — He is careless —
If He put away
Chrysalis of Blonde—or Umber —
Equal Butterfly —
.
They emerge from His Obscuring —
What Death — knows so well —
Our minuter intuitions —
Deem unplausible —
.
.
.
In a genetic sense that ED could not know, not just humans share death, but every individual organism: plant, animal, bacterium, fungus, and even, in a sense, virus, with their single-stranded genetic code of RNA. Death’s “Democratic Fingers” end existence for every “individual” of every “species”.
.
What we know now is that ED’s obsession with individual human “Death” was completely anthropocentric. What really matters is transmission of genetic code from each parent generation to its descendants. Genetic codes are “immortal” in a sense, but their “immortality” does not mean they stay the same; they change continually by natural selection and its consequence, evolution.

We organisms pass from existence to non-existence. Death of an individual organism doesn’t matter, so long as it leaves at least one copy of its DNA in the next generation. The only complete failure of a DNA or RNA molecule is extinction of its “species”. If we humans cause that extinction, we have committed a biocentric sin. Of course, we humans may intentionally cause extinction of a pathogen “species” like smallpox for our own anthropocentric benefit, but if we do we have intentionally committed a biocentric sin for a good reason.
.
.
All of this is not to say that ED’s poems don’t matter. We love their rhythm and rhyme, their sound and sense. When we enjoy a poem, biology doesn’t matter. We can always learn biology later, when we aren’t reading ED’s poems.

 

834.1864.Fitter to see Him, I may be

ED included ten (10) alternate words (Lines 4, 8, 9, 10, 16, 20, 21, 26, 27, and 28). I prefer her alternates in Lines 4, 8, 16, and 28 and her original words in Lines 9, 10 (spelling corrected), 20, 21, 26, and 27. Here is F834, with my preferred alternate words in parentheses:

1. Fitter to see Him, I may be
   For the long Hindrance — Grace — to Me —
   With Summers, and with Winters, grow,
   Some passing Year — A (charm) bestow
   .
2. To make Me fairest of the Earth —
   The Waiting — then — will seem so worth
   I shall impute with half a pain
   The blame that I was (common) — then —
   .
3. Time to anticipate His Gaze —
   Its first — Delight — and then — Surprise —
   The turning o’er and o’er my face
   For Evidence it be the Grace —
   .
4. He left behind One Day — So less
   He seek Conviction, That — be This —
   .
5. I only must not grow so new
   He’ll mistake — and ask for me
   Of me — when first unto the Door
   I go — to Elsewhere go no more —
   .
6. I only must not change so fair
   He’ll sigh — “The Other — She — is Where?”
   The Love, tho’, will array me right
   I shall be perfect — in His sight —
   .
7. If He perceive the other Truth —
   Upon an Excellenter Youth —
   .
8. How sweet I shall not lack in Vain —
   But gain — thro’ loss — Through Grief— obtain —
   The Beauty that reward Him best —
   The Beauty of (Belief) — at Rest —

 

My interpretation of F834, stanza by stanza:

1.  If Wadsworth ever returns to Amherst, I’ll be fitter to meet Him because of my long wait for Him to return. Waiting may feel like a hindrance, but during that time, God will give me grace. Passing seasons and passing years will bestow on me a new trait; (enjambed)
   .
2. they will make me fairest of the Earth. The waiting, then, will seem so worthwhile. I half attribute my emotional pain to Wadsworth for choosing to visit me in 1860. Nevertheless, I hope He returns.
   .
3. The wait has given me time to anticipate His gaze, its first delight and then his surprise as he turns over and over in his mind my face as he remembers it. He’ll wonder if my transformation has been by the grace of God and search for evidence that I’m the same person he (enjambed)
   .
4. left behind that summer day in 1860. My face will be so different that he’ll search it for evidence that that face is this face.
   .
5. I only must not grow so fair that He’ll think he’s talking to a different person and ask for me of me when first I go to the door. No, I’ll welcome Him and never afterward leave His side.
   .
6. I only must not change so fair that He’ll sigh, “The other ED, where is she, where?” Our love, though, will array me right; I shall be perfect in His sight.
   .
7. If He decides that I am not ED, but rather a younger, prettier woman than he remembers, that’s okay with me because He will bestow his love on me but think he’s loving a prettier youth.
   .
8. And even if that happens, how sweet that I shall not lack his love but gain, through loss, through grief, the beauty that he likes best, the beauty of belief, at rest.
   .
   .

This poem is ED’s wishful imagination.

833.1864.Pain — expands the Time —

Alternate words in Lines 2, 7, 8 – I prefer ED’s original word, “coil”, in Line 2 and her alternate words, “Triplets” and “Flit” in Lines 7 & 8 (emended).

Pain — expands the Time —
Ages (coil) within
The minute Circumference
Of a single Brain —

Pain contracts — the Time —
Occupied with Shot
(Triplets) of Eternities
(Flit) [by] as [if] they were not [eternities].—

 

EDLex, Definitions 4 & 6 of “Shot”: “gunshot flak” [incoming miniballs].
EDLex Definition 1 of “Pain”: “Emotional agony”.

 

My literal interpretation of Fr833, 1864, ‘Pain — expands the Time’:

Pain expands time: while you’re waiting in your trench for a rebel attack, hours drag by.

Pain contracts time: when rebels scream their rebel yell and charge your trench, and miniballs whiz by your head, hours pass like seconds.

 

My metaphorical interpretation of Fr833, 1864, ‘Pain — expands the Time’:

1. Emotional agony makes one minute feel like hours. In that one minute, entire ages coil in my tortured brain.
2. In “late 1861” when I composed ‘There came a Day at Summer’s full’ (Fr325), I was remembering that “summer day” in 1860 when Wadsworth came to visit me in Amherst. My emotional agony contracted the hours I spent with him to minutes. As I said in ‘There came a Day’ (Stanza 5):

“The Hours [of that summer day in 1860] slid fast—as Hours will—
Clutched tight—by [our] greedy hands—
So—faces [Wadsworth’s and mine] on two Decks—look back—
Bound to opposing Lands [Amherst, MA, and San Francisco, CA] —”