Year: 2026

826.1864.Denial—is the only fact

I prefer ED’s original phrase in Line 3 and her alternate word in Line 6:

1. Denial—is the only fact
2. Perceived by the Denied—
3. Whose Will—a numb significance (blank intelligence)—
4. The Day the Heaven died—
   .
5. And all the Earth strove common round—
6. Without Delight, or Beam (Aim)—
7. What Comfort was it Wisdom—was—
8. The spoiler of Our Home?

My interpretation of Fr 826, ‘Denial—is the only fact’, line-by-line:

1. Surely there was a reason why Wadsworth left the east coast without saying goodbye.
2. Why did he do that to me?
3. My heart grew numb on (enjambed)
4. May 1, 1862, when Wadsworth left New York, bound for San Francisco.
   .
5. And all the Earth together tried to cheer me up, (enjambed)
6. Without Delight, or Aim;
7. What Comfort was the Wisdom gained from my 4-year correspondence with him and his one-day visit with me during summer 1860 (enjambed)
8. When my Life was ruined?

The reason I think this poem focuses on Charles Wadsworth is that all leading ED biographers have posited the identity of her “Master” was Reverend Charles Wadsworth (Whicher 1939, Johnson 1955, Sewall 1974, Habegger 1998). For further details about Wadsworth, see my comments on

1. Fr811.1864.There is a June when Corn is cut ,
2. Fr818.1864.Given in Marriage unto Thee, and especially
3. Fr825.1864.“Unto Me?” I do not know you—

The key to interpreting Fr826 is to answer the question: What was “The Day the Heaven Died?”. ED felt she’d been denied something she really wanted on that day, and I think “The Day the Heaven Died” was literally one calendar day.

One possible answer to my question is Sue’s wedding day. After Sue’s marriage, she could not give ED the attention she craved, but ED only gradually realized the how much she missed Sue’s attention. Sue’s wedding day on July 1, 1856, was not “The Day the Heaven died”. However, we do have evidence for a single day when ED’s “Heaven died”, and that day apparently occurred in September 1861.

On April 25, 1862, eight months later, ED told T.W. Higginson (JL261):

• “I had a terror — since September — I could tell to none — and so I sing, as the Boy does by the Burying Ground — because I am afraid —.”

The event that caused ED such terror can only be guessed, and my guess is that during September, 1861, ED received a letter from Charles Wadsworth telling her he was moving to San Francisco.

. . . . . . . . . .

Apparently, ED had some premonition of approaching doom, doom for her anyway, when she sent Wadsworth Master Letter 3 in “summer 1861” (Franklin 1998):

Excerpts from Master Letter 3 Draft, “summer 1861”:

• “If you saw a bullet hit a Bird – and he told you he was’nt shot – you might weep at his courtesy, but you would certainly doubt his word –”
  .
• “One drop more from the gash that stains your Daisy’s bosom – then would you believe?”
  .
• “God made me — (Sir) Master — I did’nt be — myself.” I dont know how it was done – He built the heart in me —”
  .
• “If it had been God’s will that I might breathe where you breathed – and find the place – myself – at night – if I never forget that I am not with you, and that sorrow and frost are nearer than I – if I wish with a might I cannot repress – that mine were the Queen’s place – the love of the – Plantagenet is my only apology.
  .
• “I want to see you more — Sir — than all I wish for in this world and the wish — altered a little — will be my only one — for the skies.”
  .
• “Could you come to New England — this summer — could you come to Amherst — Would you like to come — Master? Would it do harm — yet we both fear God — Would Daisy disappoint you — no — she would’nt — Sir — it were comfort forever — just to look in your face, while you looked in mine — then I could play in the woods till Dark — till you take me where Sundown cannot find us — and the true keep coming — till the town is full. Will you tell me if you will?”

The author of Master Letter 3 Draft  could easily consider herself:

• “. . . . . . . . . . the Denied —
  Whose Will — a numb significance —
  The Day the Heaven died —”

. . . . . . . . . .

ED’s life became terror “The Day the Heaven died”. All the things she loved before that day, her poetry, her garden, her family, no longer gave her a “Beam” of inspiration that made her life worth living. What comfort was it now, the “Wisdom” she acquired from her relationship with Wadsworth? That failure spoiled ED’s “Home”, especially her delight in writing poetry.

Now she creates poems to forget the past and fight depression.

• “And all the Earth strove common round—
  Without Delight, or Beam—
  What Comfort was it Wisdom—was—
  The spoiler of Our Home?”

 

• Franklin, R. W. (ed.). 1986. The Master Letters of Emily Dickinson. Amherst College Press,
• Habegger, Alfred. 2001. My Wars Are Laid Away in Books
• Johnson, Thomas H. 1955. Emily Dickinson: An Interpretive Biography
• Sewall, Richard. 1974. The Life of Emily Dickinson
• Whicher, G.F. 1938. This Was a Poet

 

825.1864.”Unto Me?” I do not know you—

When ED composed this poem in 1864, she apparently didn’t know whether Wadsworth was dead or alive. He had been gone from the east coast for two years and probably had not responded to any letters she had sent to him c/o Calvary Presbyterian in San Francisco. ED, being who she was, probably assumed he was dead.

Numbered by stanzas. One alternate word, “Breast”, in Line 12:

1. “Unto Me?” I do not know you— Where may be your House?
   .
2. “I am Jesus—Late of Judea— Now—of Paradise”—
   .
3. Wagons—have you—to convey me? This is far from Thence—
   .
4. “Arms of Mine—sufficient Phaeton—Trust Omnipotence”—
   .
5. I am spotted—”I am Pardon”— I am small—”The Least
   .
6. Is esteemed in Heaven the Chiefest— Occupy my House”— (Breast)
   .

In Stanzas 1, ED says she doesn’t “know” the stranger, so addresses him in lower-case “you” and “your” (Stanzas 1 and 2), not capitalized “Thee”, “Thou”, or “Thine”, as she normally does for God, Christ, Jesus, and Wadsworth. These lower case personal pronouns referring to either Jesus or Wadsworth are exceptions that scream “HEADS UP!” to me.
.
. . . . . . . . . .
.
ED loved both Jesus and Wadsworth, and previous poems convince me she thought of them as equals. With that in mind, I interpret ‘ “Unto Me?” ‘ by inserting “Wadsworth” in Jesus’s place:
.

1. [ED] You come unto me? I do not know you— Where do you live?
   .
2. [Wadsworth] “I am Wadsworth, previously of Philadelphia— But now in Heaven —”
   .
3. [ED] Wagons—have you—to convey me? This is far from Thence —
   .
4. [Wadsworth] “Arms of Mine—sufficient Phaeton—, Trust Omnipotence
   —”
   .
5. [ED] I am spotted—, [Wadsworth] “I am Pardon—”
   .
6. [ED] I am small—, [Wadsworth] “The Least is esteemed in Heaven; The Chiefest—occupy my Breast—”

. . . . . . . . . .

Here are excerpts from ED’s three Master Letter drafts that reveal her feelings about Wadsworth:

ED’s Master Letter 1 draft is dated as “about Spring 1858” (Franklin 1998) and is a continuation of a thread of previous correspondence. It begins:
.
• “I am ill, but grieving more that you are ill, I make my stronger hand work long eno’ to tell you. I thought perhaps you were in Heaven, and when you spoke again, it seemed quite sweet, and wonderful, and surprised me so — I wish that you were well.”
.
ED’s next-to-last paragraph is a veiled invitation for Wadsworth to visit her:

“Each Sabbath on the Sea, makes me count the Sabbaths, till we meet on shore — and ( will the) whether the hills will look as blue as the sailors say. I cannot talk any more (stay any longer) tonight (now), for this pain denies me.”

They did finally “meet on shore” for a fateful afternoon during summer 1860.

. . . . . . . .

ED’s Master Letter 2 draft (“early 1861”) has a totally different tone than ML1. It opens by passive-aggressively begging for forgiveness for an imagined affront during Wadsworth’s visit the previous summer, 1860.

ED’s alternative words in (parentheses) and my embedded comments in [brackets]:

• “Oh, did I offend it — [ED addresses Wadsworth as “it”, as if he were a dog or baby]
  .
• Did’nt it want me to tell it the truth — Daisy — Daisy-offend it — who bends her smaller life to his (it’s) meeker (lower) every day — who only asks-a task — (who) something to do for love of it — some little way she cannot guess to make that master glad —
  .
• A love so big it scares her, rushing among her small heart-pushing aside the blood and leaving her faint (all) and white in the gust’s arm —
  .
• Daisy — who never flinched thro’ that awful parting [after his visit the previous summer], but held her life so tight he should not see the wound — who would have sheltered him in her childish bosom (Heart) — only it was’nt big eno’ for a Guest so large — this Daisy — grieve her Lord —’ and yet it (she) often blundered — Perhaps she grieved (grazed) his taste — perhaps her odd Backwoodsman (life) ways (troubled) teased his finer nature (sense). Daisy (fears) knows all that — but must she go unpardoned — teach her, preceptor grace — teach her majesty — Slow (Dull) at patrician things — Even the wren upon her nest learns (knows) more than Daisy Dares —
  .
• “I’ve got a cough as big as a thimble — but I dont care for that I’ve got a Tomahawk in my side but that dont hurt me much. (If you) Her master stabs her more — .

ED’s last paragraph begs Wadsworth to visit her again:

• Wont he come to her — or will he let her seek him, never minding (whatever) so long wandering (out) if to him at last.” . .

 

Franklin (1986) dated Master Letter 3 draft “summer 1861”. It opens:
.

• “Master.
  .
• If you saw a bullet hit a Bird — and he told you he was’nt shot you might weep at his courtesy, but you would certainly doubt his word.
  .
• One drop more from the gash that stains your Daisy’s bosom — then would you believe?”

Talk about a GUILT TRIP! ED closes Master Letter 3 draft by begging him to come again to visit her (Franklin 1986):
.

• “I want to see you more — Sir — than all I wish for in this world and the wish — altered a little — will be my only one — for the skies.
  .
• Could you come to New England — (this summer — could) would you come to Amherst — Would you like to come — Master?
  .
• (Would it do harm—yet we both fear God —) Would Daisy disappoint you — no — she would’nt — Sir — it were comfort forever — just to look in your face, while you looked in mine — then I could play in the woods till Dark — till you take me where Sundown cannot find us — and the true keep coming — till the town is full. (Will you tell me if you will?)”
  .
  . . . . . . . . . .

Sometime before Wadsworth left the east coast for San Francisco, he sent the following letter to ED. Franklin (1986) suspects Wadsworth wrote ED this only surviving letter of their correspondence as a response to her Master Letter 1, which Franklin dated as “spring 1858”.

Wadsworth’s letter is unsigned and undated, but Franklin’s sleuthing proves he sent this short letter before he left Philadelphia in spring 1862. The misspelling of ED’s last name suggests Wadsworth wrote this letter before his visit with her in 1860:.

• “My Dear Miss Dickenson [sic]
  .
• I am distressed beyond measure at your note, received this moment, – I can only imagine the affliction which has befallen, or is now befalling you.
  .
• Believe me, be what it may, you have all my sympathy, and my constant, earnest prayers. I am very, very anxious to learn more definitely of your trial- and though I have no right to intrude upon your sorrow yet I beg you to write me, though it be but a word.
  .
• In great haste
  Sincerely and most
  Affectionately Yours –”

The probability that Wadsworth’s letter is an honest, sincere expression of a minister’s concern for a troubled member of his extended congregation no doubt exceeds 90%, but ED spent an afternoon with Wadsworth in summer 1860, when a woman would certainly be deemed a liar if she accused a minister of inappropriate sexual behavior, especially if she wanted and enjoyed it.

Recent research at Southern Baptist University in Texas reveals that at least 14% of Southern Baptist Ministers have engaged in inappropriate sexual behavior with members of their congregation (Wikipedia, downloaded 3/15/2026 , CNN, downloaded 3/17/2026), and that percentage obviously does not include unreported incidents involving “affirmative consent”, AKA, “yes means yes”, AKA, the consenting adults enjoyed the experience.

“Some ministers fall into the trap of using their role to gain sexual access, often by appearing as a “tired minister” needing care . . . . .” (Wikipedia, downloaded 3/15/2026).

As an example of just such “tired minister” behavior by Wadsworth, here’s ED’s letter JL1004 to James L. Clark, which Franklin dated as “mid-summer 1882”, soon after Wadsworth’s death on April 1, 1882:

• “Dear friend,
  .
• I would like to delay the timid pleasure of thanking you, that it might not be so soon expended, but Gratitude is not willing.
  .
• It is almost an apparitional joy to hear him cherished now, for I never knew one who knew him.
  .
• The Griefs of which you speak were unknown to me, though I knew him a “Man of sorrow,” and once when he seemed almost overpowered by a spasm of gloom, I said “You are troubled.” Shivering as he spoke, “My Life is full of dark secrets,” he said.
  .
• He never spoke of himself, and encroachment I know would have slain him. He never spoke of his Home, but of a Child – “Willie”, whom, forgive me the arrogance, he told me was like me – though I, not knowing “Willie,” was benighted still –” .

These two sentences from ED’s letter to Clark are an example of “tired minister” behavior by Wadsworth:

• “[O]nce when he seemed almost overpowered by a spasm of gloom, I said “You are troubled.” Shivering as he spoke, “My Life is full of dark secrets,” he said.”

I wish I could take those words at face value, an honest statement by a “tired minister”, but I can’t. I think Wadsworth came to visit ED with the intention of seducing her. I also think he was successful and afterwards took the train 250 miles back to Philadelphia, mission accomplished. Whether he said it or not, ED long remembered what she perceived as his promise to meet and marry her in Heaven, and that memory was the inspiration for many fine poems.
.
. . . . . . . . . .
.
As a biologist, I am constantly in awe of the genius of evolution in creating DNA, a single molecule that carries all instructions needed to generate physiological incentives so powerful that the DNA’s carriers can’t resist making new copies of their ancestral DNA. We are all carriers of DNA, and we males literally insert those overpowering incentives into females, who then combine their own DNA with ours and gestate the next generation of DNA carriers. Those overpowering incentives begin with gradually increasing, hormonally controlled sexual tensions and end with a mind-blowing, if temporary, relief of those tensions, AKA, horniness and orgasm.

There is a difference between Love and Lust, but, at least for me, no clear line separates them.

Bottom Line again, I think Wadsworth went to Amherst in summer 1860 with the goal of seducing ED. He sensed from her letters she would be easy prey; I think he was right, and I think he was successful.

. . . . . . . . . .

PS. Gestate: transitive verb, “To carry in the womb during the period between conception and birth.” (OED)

. . . . . . . . . .

To say ED liked the word “unto” is a vast understatement; she used it 100 times in her poems, including five that begin with the word: Fr300, Fr512, Fr825, Fr 1370, Fr1745. (Miller 2016).

ED’s first published use of the word “unto” was in an 1859 letter to her friend and cousin, Martha (Mattie) Gilbert Smith:

“I have a suitor in the skies – a nobleman is he – and this is all he ever says – Pray ‘come unto me.’ To such a simple wooing I do not reply – Say? – Shall I say him yes – Ladie – Say – shall I say him nay?” (JL223).

“In pencil, previously thought missing, addressed “Mattie” on verso” (Miller and Mitchell 2024)

As often happens, ED’s note is a poem, but in this case not recognized by cognoscenti:

• “I have a suitor in the skies –
  A nobleman is he –
  And this is all he ever says –
  Pray ‘come unto me’
  .
• To such a simple wooing I do not reply –
  Say? – shall I say him yes –
  Ladie – Say –
  Shall I say him nay?”

ED’s 1859 “nobleman in the skies” was probably Wadsworth, with whom she had been corresponding for several years, beginning sometime after late March 1855 when she heard his sermon in Philadelphia.
. . . . . . . . . .

References:
.
• Franklin, RW. 1986.The Master Letters of Emily Dickinson. Amherst College Press
.
• Franklin, RW (ed). 1998. The Poems of Emily Dickinson, Variorum Edition. Harvard University Press. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
.
• Miller, C., (ed.) 2016. Emily Dickinson’s Poems: As She Preserved Them. Harvard University Press. Kindle Edition.
.
.• Miller, C, and D. Mitchell (eds). 2024. The Letters of Emily Dickinson, Harvard University Press. Kindle Edition
.
• Wikipedia, downloaded 3/15/2026, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_abuse_cases_in_Southern_Baptist_churches
.
• CNN, downloaded 3/17/2026, https://www.cnn.com/2022/05/23/us/southern-baptist-sexual-abuse-report-explainer#:~:text=The%20EC%20is%20governed%20by,wake%2C%E2%80%9D%20the%20email%20read.

823.1864.The first Day that I was a Life. (early 1862)

Miller (2016), Footnote 333:

“The first Day” may allude to Philippians 1:21–23: “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot [know] not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ.”. . . Apostle Paul sent this letter from prison to the Christians in Ephesus, in modern Turkey.

……………………….

My view of related events in ED’s “Life”:

I think “Life” began for ED during summer 1860 when Philadelphia’s superstar pastor, Reverend Charles Wadsworth, DD, visited her in Amherst. ED felt her “Life” ended in September 1861 when he wrote her that he planned to move to San Francisco to pastor a new church. Calvary Presbyterian. He gave no other reason that we know of and apparently did not say goodbye when he sailed from New York Harbor in spring 1862.

……………………..

823.1864.The first Day that I was a Life.ED-LarryB

The first Day that I was a Life
I recollect it—How still—
That last Day that I was a Life
I recollect it—as well—

‘Twas stiller—though the first
Was still—
‘Twas empty—but the first
Was full—

This—was my finallest Occasion—
But then
My tenderer Experiment
Toward Men—

“Which choose I”?
That—I cannot say—
“Which choose They”?
Question Memory!

…………………..

In Stanza 4, Line 15, note that ED capitalizes “They”. As far as I know, ED capitalizes personal pronouns for only two entities, God and Wadsworth, and context eliminates God.

………………………..

My interpretation of ‘The first Day that I was a Life’ (Fr823):

1. As “I recollect” “The first Day that I was a Life” was that “still” summer day in 1860 when Charles Wadsworth visited me in Amherst. “I recollect– as well” “That last Day that I was a Life”, a still day, May 1, 1862, when he sailed from New York Harbor without saying goodbye.
   .
2. “That last Day of my Life was stiller than the “first”, “though the first was still”. “The last Day” “was empty—but the first was full.”
   .
3. “This was my finallest Occasion” in “My tenderer Experiment Toward Men”. I promised Wadsworth I would be faithful to him and wore only white after that fateful summer day as a symbol of my spiritual marriage to him.
   .
4. “Which choose I”, “Men” or no men, “Life” or death? “That—I cannot say—”. “Which choose” Wadsworth? “Question Memory!”

……………………..

When ED learned Wadsworth was moving to San Francisco, a different universe in ED’s mind, her lifelong separation anxiety triggered “a terror”, as she told her new mentor, T.W. Higginson (JL261, April 25, 1862):

“I had a terror—since September—I could tell to none—and so I sing, as the Boy does by the Burying Ground—because I am afraid”.  [“sing” means compose poems]

……………………….

Summer 1860 to September 1861, barely a year, seems a sadly short “Life” of happiness, and recovery from the trauma of their separation took years: first came anger, then suicidal depression, and finally forgiveness, as evidenced by an 1886 letter to Charles H. Clark (JL1040, April 15, 1886, exactly one month before she died):

“. . . . . Going Home,” was he not an Aborigine of the Sky? The last time he came in Life [summer 1880], I was with my Lilies and Heliotropes, said my Sister to me, “the Gentleman with the deep voice wants to see you, Emily,” hearing him ask of the Servant. “Where did you come from,” I said, for he spoke like an Apparition.

“I stepped from my Pulpit from to the Train” was [his] simple reply, and when I asked “how long”, “Twenty Years” said he with inscrutable roguery – but the loved Voice has ceased . . . . .”

………………………

A half-serious interpretation of Philippians 1:21–23, as ED might modify it:

“For to me to live is Wadsworth, and to die is to marry Wadsworth in Heaven. But if I live in the flesh, poems will be the fruit of my labor. What I shall choose I know not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to dedicate myself to poetry and at the same time to be with Wadsworth.”

 

The euphoria of ED’s midsummer 1860 rendezvous lasted until September 1861, when Wadsworth let her know he planned to move to San Francisco. He gave her no reason and did not say goodbye when he sailed from New York Harbor on May 1, 1862. After hearing his plans, ED’s brain began bipolar cycles whose valleys bordered on suicide. As she told Higginson in her second letter to him (JL338, April 28, 1862):

“. . . . . I had a terror – since September – I could tell to none – and so I sing, as the Boy does by the Burying Ground, because I am afraid. . . . . .”

“Sing” she did. Over the next four years, 1862-1865, ED’s productivity was prodigious. She wrote 849 poems, which is about one poem every two days. During a single year, 1863, she wrote 295 poems, an average of one poem every 30 hours.

What malevolent muse sent ED inspirations at that mind-murdering rate for 365 straight days? What poet wouldn’t gladly die to receive inspirations at that rate?

To put ED’s experience during that 1860 “Midsummer’s” rendezvous into modern perspective, Baylor University research (Baylor 2026) shows that experienced ministers know well their sexual power over troubled female congregants and should, but frequently don’t, guard against getting too familiar with them during counseling sessions.

 

PS3. My candidates for Suicide Poems (and Franklin’s estimate of copy date) include:

1. Fr252, ‘I think just how my shape will rise –’, “about 1861”,
   
2. Fr279, ‘Of all the Souls that stand create –’, “about second half of 1861”,
3. Fr308, ‘A shady friend – for Torrid days –’, “about early 1862”.
4. Fr320, ‘There’s a certain slant of light’, “about early 1862″,
5. Fr340, ‘I felt a Funeral, in my Brain’, “about summer 1862”,
6. Fr386, ‘Taking up the fair Ideal’, “about autumn 1862”, and
7. Fr784, ‘I sometimes drop it, for a Quick –’, “about late 1863”
   .
   Other candidate Suicide Poems welcome. I will add them to this list.

 

………………………………………………………………………………………………
………………………………………………………………………………………………

The Reality of Pastoral Power

Misuse of Position: Sexual contact in ministry is recognized as an abuse of power, not an “affair,” because the power differential renders true, meaningful consent from a vulnerable congregant impossible.

High Risk and Frequency: Studies suggest that between 20% and 39% of surveyed clergy have admitted to sexual contact with parishioners.

Vulnerability Exploitation: Clergy abuse often targets people in crisis, such as those experiencing marital problems, grief, or trauma, as they are most in need of support.

Awareness vs. Action: While many ministers understand the theological prohibitions against adultery, they often fail to implement the practical, daily boundaries needed to prevent situations where sexual sin is easily initiated.

The “Black Pit” of Entitlement: Some ministers fall into the trap of using their role to gain sexual access, often by appearing as a “tired minister” needing care, or by grooming individuals through, for example, long-term, cross-gender counseling sessions.

Prevention Methods: Those who successfully guard against this abuse often use strategies like:

• Strict Counseling Boundaries: Avoiding long-term, private, one-on-one counseling with members of the opposite sex.
• Peer Accountability: Regular supervision and consultation with colleagues.
• Self-Awareness: Acknowledging personal needs and addressing them outside the congregation.
• Systemic Failure: When boundary violations occur, churches sometimes prioritize protecting their reputation over the safety of vulnerable members, allowing predators to continue their behavior.”

1. ED’s alternate words, Lines 4, 7, 17, 19, and 20, are in parentheses.
2. For clarity, in Line 4 my alternate word “your” [in brackets] would replace ED’s original word “the”.
3. In Line 11 of her manuscript, ED crossed out “ine” and wrote “y” in “Thine”.
4. In Lines 4, 7, 17, 19, I prefer ED’s original words.
5. In Line 20, I prefer ED’s alternate word, “is”:

 

 

Wert Thou but ill—that I might show thee
How long a Day I could endure
Though thine attention stop not on me
Nor the [your] least signal, Me (Mine) assure—

Wert Thou but Stranger in ungracious country—
And Mine—the Door
Thou paused at, for a passing (doubtful) bounty—
No More—

Accused—wert Thou—and Myself—Tribunal—
Convicted—Sentenced—Ermine—not to Me
Half the Condition (distinction), thy (made from “thine”) Reverse—to follow—
Just to partake [share]—the infamy—

The Tenant of the Narrow Cottage, wert Thou—
Permit to be
The Housewife in thy low attendance
Contenteth Me—

No Service hast Thou, I would not achieve (attempt ) it—
To die—or live—
The first—Sweet, proved I (That was), ere I saw thee—
For Life—be (is) Love—

My interpretation of “Wert Thou but ill” (Fr821):

 

1. If you, Reverend Wadsworth, were ill, I would show you how long a day I could endure caring for you, even though you paid no attention to me nor gave me the least signal to assure me that you cared.
2. If you were a stranger in an ungracious country and mine the only door you paused at for a passing meal, nothing more, I would feed you.
3. If you were accused and I were the judge, I would not convict or sentence you. If you were convicted by a judge, I would serve half your sentence if doing so would reduce your sentence by half, simply to share your infamy.
4. If you were the tenant of a tiny cottage and I were permitted to be your attentive housewife, I would be contented.
5. There is nothing you could ask of me that I would not give you, including my death or my life. I proved I would die for you, Sweet, in letters before we met. Life for me is Love of You.

PS1: ED Lexicon provides a standard definition of “Ermine”, which is worse than useless for readers of ‘Wert Thou but ill—that I might show thee’ (Fr821). Fortunately, Miller (2016) rescued us: “Because a judge’s robe was traditionally lined with ermine, the word ‘ermine’ was used frequently to mean ‘judge’.”(Footnote 332)

 

PS2. I think when ED composed this poem she was thinking about her “Master”, Reverend Charles Wadsworth, to whom she had written in “early 1861” (Franklin 1998):

· · · · · · · · ·
“Master — open your life wide, and take me in forever, I will never be tired — I will never be noisy when you want to be still. I will be [glad] [as the] your best little girl nobody else will see me —, but you — but that is enough — I shall not want any more — and all that Heaven only will disappoint me — will be because it’s not so dear” (draft letter MLJ3F2).
· · · · · · · · · ·

 

And, in “summer 1861” (ibid.), she had written:

 

· · · · · · · ·
“I am older – tonight, Master – but the love is the same – so are the moon and the crescent. If it had been God’s will that I might breathe where you breathed – and find the place – myself – at night — if I (can) never forget that I am not with you – and that sorrow and frost are nearer than I – if I wish with a might I cannot repress – that mine were the Queen’s place – the love of the Plantagenet is my only apology – To come nearer than presbyteries – and nearer than the new Coat – that the Tailor made – the prank of the Heart at play on: the Heart – in holy Holiday-is forbidden me –” (draft letter MLJ2F3)
· · · · · · · · ·

 

 

PS3: There are two disparate poem structures, the one above(↑), [1] Johnson (1955, J961), Franklin (1998, Fr821) and TPB’s (2025), and [2] Miller’s (2016, below↓):

“Wert Thou but ill – that I might show thee
How long a Day I could endure
Though thine attention stop not on me
Nor the least signal, Me assure –

 

Wert Thou but stranger in ungracious country –
And Mine – the Door
. . . . . . . . . . Thou paused at, for a passing bounty –
No More –

 

Accused – wert Thou – and Myself – Tribunal –
Convicted – sentenced – Ermine – not to Me
. . . . . . . . . . Half the Condition, thy Reverse – to follow –
Just to partake – the infamy –

 

The Tenant of the narrow Cottage, wert Thou
Permit to be
The Housewife in thy low attendance
Contenteth Me –

 

. . . . . . . . . . No Service hast Thou, I would not achieve it –
To die – or live –
. . . . . . . . . .The first – Sweet, proved I, ere I saw thee –
For Life – be Love –

 

I have no idea why Miller (2016) did this to ED’s poem. There is nothing in ED’s MS to warrant Miller’s mutilation. (LSB 2026-03-04).

 

Franklin, RW (ed.), 1986.The Master Letters of Emily Dickinson. Amherst College Press, 48 pp.

Franklin, RW (ed.), 1998, The Poems of Emily Dickinson, 3 vols. Harvard University Press, 1654 pp.

Johnson, T. H., (ed.), 1955, The Poems of Emily Dickinson, 3 vols., 1266 pp., Harvard Univ. Press

LSB 2026-03-04 [That’s me, Lawrence S. Barden, and today’s date]

Miller, Christine, 2016. Emily Dickinson’s Poems: As She Preserved Them . Harvard University Press. 864 pp., Kindle Edition.

 

820.1864.The Only News I know

The Only News I know
Is Bulletins all Day
From Immortality.

The Only Shows I see—
Tomorrow and Today—
Perchance Eternity—

The Only One I meet
Is God—The Only Street—
Existence—This traversed

If Other News there be—
Or Admirable Show—
I’ll tell it You—

My interpretation of F820, ‘The Only News I know’:

1. The only gossip I get is Inspirations all day from Heaven.
2. The only scenes I see, day after day, are Eternity.
3. The only one I meet is God, the only street I walk is Life — I’ve done those now.
4. If there is any other news or an admirable show, I’ll let you know.

 

Stanzas 1-2 each begin with understatement, but end with a Bang. Stanza 3 does a double Bang. Stanza 4 pretends that inspirations from Heaven, scenes of Eternity, meeting with God, and strolling through Existence are just ordinary events that happen every day. ED has “traversed” those now, but if anything worth mentioning happens in Amherst, “I’ll let you know”.

For me, ‘The Only News I know’ is a tongue-in-cheek, understated joke about Inspiration, Eternity, God, and Existence in a poet’s daily life.

819.1864.The Luxury to apprehend

The Luxury to apprehend
The Luxury ‘twould be
To look at Thee a single time
An Epicure of Me

In whatsoever Presence makes
Till for a further Food
I scarcely recollect to starve
So first am I supplied —

The Luxury to meditate
The Luxury it was
To banquet on thy Countenance
A Sumptuousness bestows

On plainer Days, whose Table far
As Certainty can see
Is laden with a single Crumb
The Consciousness of Thee.

 

My interpretation of ‘The Luxury to apprehend’:

1. The luxury to look at you again would make an epicure of me.
   .
2. In whatever presence you might appear, after looking at your face I would forget I’m starved for food and hardly remember I’m starving because my first look at your face during summer of 1860 has fed my soul so well.
   .
3. The luxury to remember, the luxury it was to feast upon your face that summer day, enriches my life.
   .
4. Now, on plainer days, as far as I can see with certainty, my table is laden with a single crumb, my memory of you.
   .
   .
   One payoff for ED’s poetic obscurity is that her poems are multipurpose, they seem to be written about whomever we want them to be. Because ED first shared this poem with Sue, we assume she was thinking of Sue when she wrote it, but that may be incorrect. I think ED had someone else in mind when she composed this poem. I also think Master Letter 3 reveals the identity of that someone:
   .
   “I want to see you more-Sir-than all I wish for in this World and the wish — altered a little — will be my only one — for the skies.“Could you come to New England — [this summer — could] would you come to Amherst — Would you like to come — Master? . . . .
   .
   “Would Daisy disappoint you — no — she would’nt — Sir — it were comfort forever-just to look in your face, while you looked in mine —  then I could play in the woods till Dark— till you take me where Sundown cannot find us.”
   .
   .
   Many eminent historians and biographers have concluded the identity of ED’s “Master” was Reverend Charles Wadsworth (Whicher 1939, Johnson 1955, Sewall 1974, Habegger 1998). I agree with those scholars. It’s an understatement to say, but ED got a lot of poetic mileage out of that one day in 1860 when Wadsworth came to visit her in Amherst.
   .

ED wrote seven poems that include the capitalized word “Master”. The fourth “Master” poem, Fr395, has the word “face” in its title: ‘The face I carry with me – last –‘. I think Fr395 identifies beyond reasonable doubt that “The face I carried with me — last —” belonged to Charles Wadsworth:

“The face I carry with me — last —
When I go out of Time —
To take my Rank — by— in the West—
That face — will just be thine —

I’ll hand it to the Angel —
That — Sir — was my Degree —
In Kingdoms — you have heard the Raised —
Refer to — possibly.

He’ll take it — scan it — step aside —
Return — with such a crown
As Gabriel — never capered at —
And beg me put it on —

And then — he’ll turn me round and round —
To an admiring sky —
As One that bore her Master’s name —
Sufficient Royalty!”