785;1863.It dropped so low — in my Regard —

ED’s original ink copy in Fascicle 37, penciled alternatives in parentheses:
It dropped so low — in my Regard —
I heard it hit the Ground —
And go to pieces on the Stones
At bottom of my Mind — (in the ditch)
Yet blamed the Fate that fractured (flung it) — less

Than I reviled (denounced) Myself,
For entertaining Plated Wares
Upon My Silver Shelf —

For the first time, ED did not copy her alternative words and phrases in ink at the same time she copied her poem. Instead, she waited 17 years (1880) and then penciled her alternatives between her original ink lines.

Both Johnson (1955, ‘Complete Poems’) and Franklin (1998, ‘Poems of Emily Dickinson’) published Line 4 without using ED’s 1880 alternate phrase, which was their standard protocol, but they published her 1880 alternates in Lines 5 and 6, which was definitely not their usual protocol. They may have been “protecting Emily” by ignoring protocol in Lines 5 and 6 and not in Line 4. Whatever their reasons, they improved her poem:

Original Stanza 1 sounds better than

“It dropped so low — in my Regard —
I heard it hit the Ground —
And go to pieces (in the Ditch)
At bottom of my Mind —”

And modified Stanza 2 sounds better than her original (above):

“Yet blamed the Fate that (flung it) — less
Than I (denounced) Myself,
For entertaining Plated Wares
Upon My Silver Shelf —”

Line 6, “Than I reviled myself”, may reveal how ED felt in 1863, but apparently she had mellowed by 1880.

The postcendant of “It” (Line 1) is “Plated Wares” (Line 7), a metaphor for “anything you once fell for” but no longer revere (Adam DeGraff, AKA d. scribe, TPB). “It” may be ED’s adolescent romantic infatuation (at age 25-32) with Rev. Charles Wadsworth, which I think is the seed of this poem, or the unfinished quality of the poem itself, which ED apparently realized in 1880, or something else.

There must be a reason ED would juxtapose her previous poem, F784, and this one in Fascicle 37 (Poems 37-12 and 37-13). Her 1863 version of F785 sounds flawed, which accounts for her editors’ decisions to use alternate words. However, despite its flaws, it seems objectively true, while the previous poem sounds like a painful cry for help, as if she’s “Mulling Suicide”. Perhaps ED juxtaposed these poems as a reminder of where she’s been (sidetracked by infatuation, “Plated Wares”) and where she wants to go (poetic immortality).

It’s inconceivable to me she composed these two poems contemporaneously, despite their copied  juxtaposition and identical estimated copy dates (“about late 1863”). It’s wise to remember that Franklin’s estimated copy dates based on handwriting are just that; they are not necessarily her composition dates.

784.1863. I sometimes drop it, for a Quick

I sometimes drop it, for a Quick –
The Thought to be alive –
Anonymous Delight to know –
And Madder – to conceive –
Consoles a Wo so monstrous

That did it tear all Day,
Without an instant’s Respite –
‘Twould look too far – to Die –

Delirium – diverts the Wretch
For Whom the Scaffold neighs –
The Hammock’s motion lulls the Heads
So close on Paradise –

A Reef – crawled easy from the Sea
Eats off the Brittle Line –
The Sailor doesn’t know the Stroke –
Until He’s past the Pain –

ED’s father championed building “Insane Asylums”, a euphemism for “Mad House”, as they were then termed. Good thing he didn’t see ED’s poem, which I might dub ‘Mulling Suicide’.

 

An interpretation of ‘I sometimes drop it, for a Quick –’:

ED offers no alternate words. Parenthesized words are definitions from ED Lexicon; square brackets are my edits.

I sometimes drop it [mulling suicide], for a Quick [respite from Wo] –
The Thought to be alive  –
Anonymous (Unknown) Delight to know –
And Madder (Insaner)– to conceive –

[“The Thought to be alive”] Consoles (Relieves) a Wo so monstrous
That did it tear (weep) all Day
Without an instant’s Respite (Pause) –
‘Twould look too far – to Die –   [Death would look too far – to wait – ]

Delirium (Insanity) – diverts the Wretch
For Whom the Scaffold neighs [nighs, nears]
The Hammock’s motion lulls the Heads
So close on Paradise –

A Reef (Adversity) – crawled easy from the Sea
Eats off the Brittle Line (Feeble Cable) –
The Sailor doesn’t know the Stroke (End) –
Until He’s past the Pain –