ED-LarryB

You taught me Waiting with Myself—
Appointment strictly kept—
You taught me fortitude of Fate—
This—also—I have learnt—

The Heaven you know—to understand
That you be not ashamed
Of Me—in Christ’s bright Audience
Upon the further Hand—

Adam DeGraff, blogmeister of ‘The Prowling Bee’, wrote a stunning explication of this poem, F774. For a real treat, visit this poem at TPB: (https://bloggingdickinson.blogspot.com/2025/02/you-taught-me-waiting-with-myself.html).

Adam’s layer by layer excavation defies imitation. For example, Adam suspects “you” is Sue, and Lines 9-11 confirm this:

“. . . . to understand
That you be not ashamed
Of Me—  . . . .”

Why Sue would be ashamed of ED, at least in ED’s opinion, requires a little biographic history:

During their late teens and early 20s, ED and Sue shared an unusually close friendship, at least by 2025 standards. That it included romantic love, at least on ED’s part, is clear from her letters to Sue. Whether Sue felt romance is unclear, but many well informed modern fans of ED’s poetry think the relationship was lesbian, possibly including physical intimacy.

However, Sue was an orphan and had to find financial support. She majored in mathematics at Utica Female Academy and secured a job teaching math in Baltimore during the 1851-1852 academic year. During that time Emily experienced extreme loneliness and horrible separation anxiety, which was exacerbated by Sue’s infrequent responses to ED’s daily letters.

Sue disliked teaching and didn’t renew her contract after she returned to Amherst. Predictably, she visited the Dickinson ‘Homestead’ frequently, and, also predictably, this led to her courtship and marriage with ED’s older brother, Austin, a recent graduate of Harvard Law School. As a wedding present to the couple, Austin’s father and employer, Edward Dickinson, built a stylish two-storied mansion, ‘Evergreen’, next door to ‘Homestead.

There, Sue loved to host soirees for Amherst’s leading lights and distinguished visitors. At first Sue invited ED, but for unstated reasons soon stopped. My guess is that ED hated chit-chat and was prone to conversations as obscure as her poetry. These uninvitations became banishment, either mutual or unilateral, about the time ED composed this poem. This physical alienation continued until the 1883 death of Sue’s youngest child, 6-year-old Gilbert (Gib), who died of typhoid fever after wading with a friend in a town pond contained sewage. That banishment is what ED refers to in Lines 9-10.

Fortunately for us, during those two decades, ED and Sue communicated frequently by mailed letters or notes carried across the 100-yard meadow between the houses. Their correspondence consisted not only of poems by ED and editorial comments by Sue, but also included friend-to-friend thoughts and feelings of both women.

Drama’s Vitallest Expression
is the Common Day
That arise and set about Us—
Other Tragedy

Perish in the Recitation—
This—the best enact
When the Audience is scattered
And the Boxes shut—

“Hamlet” to Himself were Hamlet—
Had not Shakespeare wrote—
Though the “Romeo” left no Record
Of his Juliet,

It were infinite enacted
In the Human Heart—
Only Theatre recorded
Owner cannot shut—

For me, Stanzas 1-2 translate as a single enjambed eight-line stanza (octave or octastich):

“Life’s most Dependable Event
Is the Common Day.
Defined by sunrise and sunset,
Everything else vanishes,
Like actors on a stage.
The Common Day enacts its best scenes
When we aren’t watching,
Our box seats empty.”

Stanza 3:

ED may have known or not known that Shakespeare based his stage play, ‘Hamlet’, on Saxo Grammaticus’s (c. 1150 – c. 1220) ‘Gesta Danorum’, Books 3 and 4, where a legendary Scandinavian prince, Amleth, feigned madness and murdered his uncle. As with most legendary heroes, there may have been one or more real human “legend-seeds”. ED’s point is that that each actual human “legend-seed” was someone who, during their lives, knew he/she existed, even though we have no physical evidence of their existence. To quote René Descartes, “Cogito, ergo sum”, “I think, therefore I am”.

Stanza 4:

“If that legend-seed’s exact life story
Were recorded in his/her Heart,
Only a theatrical script could tell the tale.
The seed itself could not shut down its own legend.”
……………………..

Neither EDLex nor OED recognizes “vitallest” as an English word, but EDLex does define “vitalless”: “Dead; lifeless; limp; impotent; powerless; very weak; unable to provide energy; not able to recover; [fig.] ineffective; not motivating.” Nevertheless, ED’s invented comparative communicates the opposite of “lifeless” to me. She used the word “vitallest” only once in all her 1789 known poems.

……………………………….

We have an actual letter from Wadsworth to ED, expressing concern over her health, so their “relationship” was not “purported”. What is purported is the exact nature of that relationship. We have circumstantial evidence in poem after poem that “Master” was, in ED’s mind, a romantic interest, sexual or not, that lasted several years. What ED was in Wadsworth’s mind was probably a completely different story, which fits perfectly as an example of ED’s point in this poem, don’t you think?

We also have lots of circumstantial evidence that Wadsworth was “Master”, and, more importantly, in all her poems and letters or elsewhere, we have no actual evidence to prove that Wadsworth was not “Master”. That cannot be said for any other candidate.

I know, absence of actual proof is not proof of the contrary, but if it quacks like a duck ….

I think I was enchanted
When first a sombre Girl
I read that Foreign Lady
The Dark — felt beautiful

And whether it was noon at night —
Or only Heaven — at Noon —
For very Lunacy of Light
I had not power to tell —

The Bees — became as Butterflies —
The Butterflies — as Swans —
Approached — and spurned the narrow Grass —
And just the meanest Tunes

That Nature murmured to herself
To keep herself in Cheer —
I took for Giants — practising
Titanic Opera —

The Days — to Mighty Metres stept —
The Homeliest — adorned
As if unto a Jubilee
‘Twere suddenly confirmed —

I could not have defined the change —
Conversion of the Mind
Like Sanctifying in the Soul —
Is witnessed — not explained —

Twas a Divine Insanity—
The Danger to be sane
Should I again experience
‘Tis Antidote to turn —

To Tomes of Solid Witchcraft —
Magicians be asleep —
But Magic — hath an element —
Like Deity — to keep —

What a biographical, atypically long poem, complex beyond ED’s trademarks, happy as her happiest, full of mystical allusions, sweet after so much pain. ‘I think I was enchanted’ feels like a turning point. Or is it a passing manic among passing hills and valleys? ED lures us on; stay tuned for another addictive episode.

This poem, ‘I think I was enchanted’, reminded Adam DeGraff of F620 (1863):

“Much Madness is divinest Sense –
To a discerning Eye –
Much Sense – the starkest Madness –
‘Tis the Majority In this, as all, prevail –
Assent, and you are sane –
Demur – you’re straightway dangerous –
And handled with a Chain.”

Life, and Death, and Giants—
Such as These—are still—
Minor—Apparatus—
Hopper of the Mill—
Beetle at the Candle—
Or a Fife’s Fame—
Maintain—by Accident
that they proclaim—

ED knew her Latin well (F2, “Sic transit gloria mundi”), probably to the depth of fourth-declension-noun plurals such as “apparatus”. Google AI, for whatever it’s worth, tells me the plural of “apparatus” is spelled identically, but the third “a” is pronounced long, as in “curator”. ED did not share that obscure Latin grammar with us 2025 readers, probably assuming our modern educational apparatus would be equal to hers. Anywho, it really helps this nerdy reader enjoy ‘Life, and Death, and Giants —’ more when plural “apparatus” is pronounced with a long third ” a”..

“Late 1863” (Franklin 1998). ED’s alternative words, phrases, and lines are in (parentheses). I have used all of them and omitted Franklin’s choices.

The Birds reported from the South –
A News express to Me –
A spicy Charge, My little (Friends)-
But (you must go away)

The Flowers – appealed – a timid Throng –
I (only sealed) the Door –
Go blossom to the Bees – I said –
And (harass) Me – no More –

The Summer Grace, for notice strove –
Remote – Her best Array
The Heart – to stimulate the Eye
Refused too utterly –

At length, a Mourner, like Myself,
She drew away austere –
Her frosts to ponder – then it was
I (rose to comfort ) Her

She suffered Me, for I had mourned –
I offered Her no word –
My Witness – was the Crape I bore –
Her – Witness – was Her Dead –

Thenceforward – We – together (walked)-
(I – never questioned Her – )
(Nor She – Myself – )
Our (Compact)
A (silent) Sympathy

………………………………..

‘The birds reported from the South’ may be read as a single unified sketch of ED’s bumpy relationship with her sister-in-law, Sue. ED’s teenage and early 20s romantic friendship with Susan Gilbert before Sue married ED’s brother, Austin (July 1, 1856), is well documented. Early on, Sue’s marriage was a failure, but she and Austin had three children and stayed legally married until Austin’s death in 1896. To ED’s regret, Sue distanced herself from ED in the months before and many years after her marriage, though the two did correspond by notes and letters across the 100 yards of meadow between their houses. It’s my hunch this poem is about their relationship.

Stanzas 1-2

ED’s early joy in Nature reverberates throughout her poems and letters, but separation stress as Sue pulled away distracted her from her love of nature. This poem begins by describing ED’s distraction (ED’s alternate words and phrases in parentheses). [My interjected words in brackets]:

“The Birds reported from the South –
A News express to Me –
A spicy Charge, My little (Friends)-
But (you must go away)

The Flowers – appealed – a timid Throng –
I (only sealed) the Door –
Go blossom to the Bees – I said –
And (harass) Me – no More –”

Superficially, Stanza 3 seems to continue describing ED’s distraction from Nature: “The Summer Grace, for notice strove -“, but Nature failed: “Her best Array” felt too “Remote” to charm my “Heart” or “stimulate the [my] Eye”:

“The Summer Grace, for notice strove –
Remote – Her best Array
The Heart – to stimulate the Eye
Refused too utterly –”

At a deeper level of ED’s wish-fulfilling imagination, “Summer Grace” may metaphorically mean ‘Sue’: My “Heart [and] Eye / Refused too utterly” to be “stimulate[d]” by Sue’s overtures of reconciliation.

Stanzas 4-6

Unsurprisingly,

“At length, [Sue,] a Mourner, like Myself,
She [characteristically] drew away austere –
Her [characteristic] frosts to ponder -”

Finally, in ED’s imagined future:

“. . . then it was
I (rose to comfort ) Her

“She suffered Me, for I had mourned –
I offered Her no word –
My Witness – was the [white] Crape I bore –
Her – Witness – was Her Dead [marriage] –

“Thenceforward – We – together (walked)-
(I – never questioned Her – )
(Nor She – Myself – )
Our (Compact)
A (silent) Sympathy”

And they lived happily ever after  “late 1863”, in ED’s dreams.

ED was likely aware that lesbian life together had worked successfully for Charity Bryant and Sylvia Drake a half century earlier in northwestern Vermont (Cleves 2014). In 1850, ED’s neighbor and fellow poet, William Cullen Bryant, (Cummington, VT, 20 miles NW of Amherst) had described the successful, accepted relationship of his aunt, Charity, and her lesbian partner, Sylvia (Bryant, W.C. 1850. Letters of a Traveler…, Page 129). On October 9, 1851, when both she and Sue were 20, ED had written Susan that she hoped “you and I would try to make a little destiny to have for our own” (L5). [See my Comment on F451, TPB, September 23, 2023]

Cleves, Rachel H. 2014. Charity and Sylvia: A Same-sex Marriage in Early America. Oxford University Press. New York. 267 pp.

Franklin, R.W.1998.The Poems of Emily Dickinson. 3 vols. Cambridge, MA, Belknap Press of Harvard UP, 1680 pp.

What I can do – I will –
Though it be little as a Daffodil –
That I cannot – must be
Unknown to possibility –

ED copied this short poem (F641) into Fascicle 31 “about late 1863”. Little, Brown, and Company, Boston, first published ‘What I can do – I will –’ on January 1, 1929 in ‘Further Poems of Emily Dickinson’. If ‘What I can do – I will –’ sounds familiar, here’s the original version (later in 1929) of the ‘Serenity Prayer’, currently attributed to American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr:

“The victorious man in the day of crisis is the man who has the serenity to accept what he cannot help and the courage to change what must be altered.”

Rearranged, it matches ED’s poem in ideas, though not in rhyme or meter:

The victorious man
In the day of crisis
Is the man who has the courage to change what must be altered
And the serenity to accept what he cannot help.

Pure coincidence, or had Niebuhr been reading ED’s newly published poems? Winnifred C. Wygal was the first to notice the similarity of Niebuhr’s prayer and ED’s poem (Diary entry Oct. 31, 1932) . Wygal “did postgraduate work at Union Theological Seminary, NYC, studying there with Niebuhr and Paul Tillich.”

…………………………….

Further circumstantial evidence that Niebuhr had read ED’s newly published poem:

Later in 1929, Reinhold Niebuhr wrote “ ‘religion is poetry’, . . . religion [becomes] more compelling when ‘vivified by adequate poetic symbols’ than by ‘the poor prose’ of ‘the average preacher’.”

I had no idea Niebuhr was so into poetry:

“The ultimate nature of reality cannot be grasped by science alone; poetic imagination is as necessary as scientific precision.”

“How can an age which is so devoid of poetic imagination as ours be truly religious?”

………………………………………………..

This poem, ‘What I can do – I will –’ (Fr461, “late 1863”, Franklin), suggests that after more than two years of healing, ED was emerging from her well documented episode of depression and “terror”:

“I had a terror – since September [1861]– I could tell to none – and so I sing, as the Boy does by the Burying Ground, because I am afraid.” (L338 to Thomas Wentworth Higginson, April 28, 1862).

My hypothesis is that ED’s “terror” began when Rev. Charles Wadsworth told her he was considering a “removal” (move) to San Francisco to pastor the failing, 10-year-old Calvary Presbyterian Church. He sailed from New York Harbor with his family on May 1, 1862. He more than exceeded Calvary’s wildest hopes; even anti-Christian Mark Twain attended and praised his sermons.

Dickinson, Emily. The Letters of Emily Dickinson (2024). Eds. Cristanne Miller and Domhnall Mitchell. Harvard University Press. Kindle Edition.

Reinhold Niebuhr. 1929. ‘Leaves from the Notebook of a Tamed Cynic’. Chicago. Willett, Clark, and Colby.

David R. Bains. 2004. ‘Conduits of Faith: Reinhold Niebuhr’s Liturgical Thought’. Church History, Mar., 2004, 73(1): 168-194.